Mediation and relationships
Mediation and Relationships
Most people who are faced with a divorce, succeed in making satisfactory arrangements with each other. Even though separating almost always is painful and usually a grieving process, most people are able to put the situation into perspective (after the initial shock or after a while) and find ways to deal with it. They understand that making the necessary arrangements together is not only the cheapest way, but also the best: you do not destroy more than necessary and know that a new future will present itself. For such an attitude, flexibility and the ability to look ahead are prerequisites: you have to be able to look at what is there and at what can be there, and to not focus on what was and is not any more.
My job as a mediator is to:
- Tell you which arrangements have to be made, and supervise this process
- Make sure that the legal framework for those arrangements is met and inform you about it
- In consultation with you, draw up the necessary documents
- Supervise the entire process until the petition for divorce is filed (at that point in time a lawyer takes over, and the rest of our affairs can be dealt with by mail)
Apart from that, I consider it my job to, if necessary:
- and if desirable, pay attention to the emotional aspects of the divorce
- inform you about the consequences of your divorce in all aspects
- and if desirable, discuss with you what is the best way to support your children in all aspects of your divorce
- discuss with you what is needed to remain on the best possible terms with each other
- discuss all other relevant aspects of your divorce with you
What is the Goal of Divorce Mediation?
The goal of divorce mediation is drawing up a divorce settlement agreement and if applicable a parenting plan in which the arrangements you made are described.
As a mediator, I not only help you with making those arrangements, but where necessary and desirable also with how to deal with them in the best way possible, the goal being to make sure that the relationship you might have with your former partner after your divorce, for instance because you have children together, remains on the best possible terms.